he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
