i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
