I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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