home. puking in laundry basket.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
should my penis look like a turkey
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
