And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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