dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
