he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
