is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think I just sharted jello shots
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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