you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i out mim tonsoeep
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
