just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
