My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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