Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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