can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
