i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
