what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just found puke in my bra..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
