after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
