Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
