super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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