i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
