wanna go halves on a baby?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
