so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
