I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
