Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
His nipple licking is glorious
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