You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
