ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize