I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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