You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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