The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
