Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
