North Korea, Best Korea!
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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