If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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