And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
