I just made out with a guy for $7.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
