Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
