he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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