So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
