I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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