well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
