Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
