I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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