I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
