So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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