Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
