I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
