I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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