1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
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