I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
