you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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