I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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