What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
