Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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