dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
